lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
