help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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