Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
