I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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