You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
