just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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