you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
