Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
