A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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