I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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