Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
