3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
