im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
