hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
