My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
