i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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