Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize