I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
