yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
