I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
