Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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