new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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