Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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