Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
