Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
