Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
