FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
