Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
