I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
