Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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