I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He passed out mid-signature
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
