Sponge bath it is.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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