Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
