you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
