Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
