After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
