Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
