Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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