i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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