is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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