Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
