Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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