Got a toothbrush?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
