Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
