The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
