Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
