SEEEEXXX PLEASE
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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