The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
