I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
