i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
NoShamevember. You game?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
