is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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