It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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