after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
