what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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