Nicole vs. Life
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
