We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
