Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
