Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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