Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
