I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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