apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
