I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you never un-have a 4some
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
