Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
