Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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