my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
