I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
