Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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