Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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