I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
