Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
