i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
