my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
