Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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